I share many, many loves with my 2 sisters. Since we were kids we’ve always liked the same kind of music (Beatles! Springsteen!), movies (Rom-Com’s, Musicals, Adventures) and Books ( Austen, Greek and Roman Mythology and Dumas). We love the slapstick of Abbott and Costello and the absurdity of Monty Python. We even were attracted to the same types of men. (tall, dark and handsome, swarthy piratey types) But much to my chagrin I have never been able to convince them of the awesomeness that is Indian Cinema. Just looking at the above characteristics you’d think they would be ripe for SI film induction, but I am very sad to say that I have failed miserably in my attempts to win them over so far. This is my last best attempt. If mine and Dolce and Namak’s posts on Tollywood and the Romantic hero can’t crack them, then nothing will. (Well I may still try my duct tape and Youtube videos idea) So Karen and Gale, this post is dedicated to you.
FTDS: Rreyy, I dare you to find one element that we cannot translate into a South Indian movie.
ADG: I have evil dukes, jealous queens and mistresses, and cardinals who are up to no good.
FTDS: And we have evil goondas and underworld lords, jealous aunties, and all kinds of corrupt Ministers and Chief Ministers just waiting to chew some hero meat.
ADG: Hm… I also have family rivalries and backstabbing.
FTDS: That’s ok, we have factionists!
ADG: And what about the damsel in distress whose greatest asset is not her wit but her beauty and her virginity.
FTDS: Ah, for that we have Kajal!
ADG: I also have lyrical speeches and heart tugging emotional love scenes.
FTDS: Heh… Our script writers are not very good with that, but we’ll make do with plenty of songs, dances and sensual poses instead.
The Ghost of Alexandre Dumas has no choice but to slap his forehead and return to the darkness whence he came.
The Three Musketeers
Edmond Dantes: Has to be the one and only Prabhas. Just watch Munna and you will see Dumas type revenge played out Tollywood style. Edmond Dantes had so many alter egos as he exacted his revenge. Prabhas can play down and dirty tough as well as cool and classy a la Billa.
The Man in the Iron Mask:
I could go on, I love to imagine who would be Cardinal Richelieu (Sonu Sood!) Milady (Sameera Reddy) or the Comte de Rochefort (Rahul Dev) and Constance Bonacieux (has to be Charmi).
Yep even though it's Hyderabad India, they are all there, 19th century French heroes created by Dumas for a mass audience that hasn’t changed its love for L’action and L’amour no matter what century or continent they are from.
Now when I watch a fight scene of my Tollywood Super Heroes at Golconda Fort or in the Vikarabad Forest, I imagine the camera panning around and we see Athos, Porthos, Aramis, d’Artagnan, Edmond Dantes, Phillipe and Dumas cheering them on.
Vive la Mass! Jai Masala!